Friday, October 06, 2006

Till death do you part...

...unless you're in China, in which case death is the great matchmaker, the proviso being that you live a life of celibacy before you can enjoy an eternity of ghoulish lovin'. Yes, distraught parents throughout the Loess Plateau are hard at work looking for prospective brides for their deceased sons - a tradition that Tim Burton lovingly translated to the silver screen. Don't worry, there's no necrophilia here - the brides are dead too, and the best part is that everyone lowers their standards. What's a few maggots here and there? Her overall measurements are rather favourable...0-24-36. It's a pity her upper half was ravaged by wolves. And of course, there are no pesky love triangles holding up this arranged match made, quite literally, in heaven...or hell, I don't know. Point is, they're dead.

Seriously though, have the parents considered the odds of their son/daughter being gay? That'd really screw up their afterlife.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

yay! so what's with all the pressure? my relatives keep throwing the term "biological clock" around and i'm afraid it's gonna cramp mah ishtyle.

Bhavesh said...

Forget the biological clock - the spiritual clock is all the rage :-D.

Warning: mentioning that to the old folks will lead to a sermon on how you're a terrible person and should go to hell for not observing the right rituals. On second thought, just go with the biological clock