The taming of the beauty queen.

Pearls of wisdom from Amitabh Bachchan. It turns out Aishwarya Rai is 'domesticated', which must be quite a relief. The last thing you want is one of those feral girls who go around pooping on your expensive carpet and attacking the neighbours.

In your face, Chiang Kai-Shek!

I was as surprised as anyone when I learned I had been voted Time Magazine's Person of the Year for 2006. After all, no one expects to win awards for sitting on their rapidly expanding backsides for 22 years, but I'm not complaining. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to join the esteemed ranks of Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin, Nikita Krushchev, The Computer, George W. Bush and Middle America.

All-pervasive religion

The BBC reports on the inevitable controversy caused by Left Behind: Eternal Forces, the latest attempt by the church to project a 'cool' and 'hip' image of religion. The piece is pretty much par for the course - liberals calling the game a recruitment tool for religious warfare, with conservatives countering that liberals aren't very good Christians and fully deserve to burn in the depths of Hell for all eternity. Like I said, par for the course.

However, Left Behind: Eternal Forces isn't the only religious video game doing the rounds. The Global Islamic Media Front refuses to be - for lack of a better term - left behind its sworn enemy. They have released a game called Quest for Bush, in which players aim to kill the US president. With a title like that, it could very well have involved a bunch of sex-starved college freshmen looking for some luuurve, but as it turns out, the game is a straight shoot-em-up and the only bushes involved are Dubya and some shrubbery. Sources say the title's literal translation from Arabic is 'Night of Bush Hunting', which to be honest is just as bad, if not worse.