Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Jehovah's Witnesses make inroads

And what if her dogs really were fed on Jehovah's Witnesses? I'd imagine the world would be a lot more peaceful. The news article states:

"We were informed by a member of the public who found the sign to be distressing, offensive and inappropriate," a police spokesman said.
Funny that. It seems perfectly okay to knock on people's doors, deride their way of life, claim that their religion is setting them on the course to hell and call them demon-worshippers (true story), but it's clearly the sign that is 'offensive and inappropriate'.

Now that signs are illegal, I've developed new ways to keep Jehovah's Witnesses (and others of their ilk - Mormons, Hare Krishnas, etc.) away:

1. Answer the door in your underwear (probably not recommended)

2. If they ask "Have you found Jesus?", answer "You lost him AGAIN? I don't pay you to play hide and seek!"

3. Alternatively, you can say "Yeah, he's upstairs. Turns out he was totally off about being the Son of God and all that. They're only distantly related." (see note below)

4. Tell them you'll convert to their religion if they'll convert to yours (hey it makes just as much sense as the other way around).

5. Answer the door with a shotgun, loaded or unloaded (preferably loaded. Fire a shot in the air and act a little crazy - this one's been personally tested)

Note: The above was meant as a (characteristically poor) joke. I have nothing against Christianity and Christians in particular - just religious nuts of any denomination, be they Hindu, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, or anything else. At the end of the day, no one can even prove God's existence - the 'just look at the wonders of nature' argument doesn't hold water with me - let alone pass judgement on others' religious beliefs. Jehovah's Witnesses are only one of many religious organisations around the world trying to forcibly push their message onto the masses, without regard or respect for existing beliefs, and I cannot respect proselytisers and religious nuts of any form, and I honestly don't care which version of 'God' they claim to represent.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

-A heads up on the Jehovah Witness-

There is no Armageddon that will annihilate 6.5 billion people,and install Watchtower leaders as world rulers.

The core dogma of the Watchtower organization is that Jesus had his second coming 'invisibly' in the year 1914.Their entire doctrinal superstructure is built on this falsehood.

Jehovah's Witnesses door to door recruitment is by their own admission an ineffective tactic. They have lost membership in all countries with major Internet access because their false doctrines and harmful practices are exposed on the modern information superhighway.

There is good and valid reasons why there is such an outrage against the Watchtower for misleading millions of followers.Many have invested everything in the 'imminent' apocalyptic promises of the Jehovah's Witnesses and have died broken and beaten.

Every Jehovah's Witness member will grow old and die just like everyone else.
----
Danny Haszard Bangor Maine 'expert witness on the Jehovah's Witness'