Sunday, August 06, 2006

"My son's a murderer!"

There's been a lot of anger over the new All Black haka, mostly for the 'throat-slitting' gesture at the climax. Parents everywhere are concerned about their children, who have begun to imitate their heroes at home. The New Zealand Herald reports:

Wellington mother Gaynor Brymer said her 6-year-old son Oliver often used the haka's final gesture, a thumb drawn across the throat, to wind her up. "He clearly means that he's going to slit someone's throat," she said.


Clearly. And how do you propose he will slit someone's throat, Gaynor? Are you providing knives to your six-year-old son? If you are, I don't think the haka should be top of your priorities right now.

Of course, the throat 'slit' actually represents the "drawing of vital energy into the heart and lungs" (link). But clearly, Gaynor (seriously? Gaynor?) seems to think otherwise.

"When my 6-year-old son stands with his eyes ablaze and bulging, drawing his hand slowly across his throat in response to a mild admonishment from his mother, I doubt he is wishing the 'breath of life' upon me," she said.


Yes, a six-year-old wants to kill you - his well-balanced and caring mother, who after six years of stellar parenting, is about to lose her son to a life on the street because of an ambiguous gesture on television. I'm sure the haka was all okay before, with the loud chanting, bulging eyes, and warrior spirit? The All Black versions of the haka are derived from war dances! What do you expect them to do? Braid each other's hair? It's just a dance, and kids are likely to imitate anything and everything, unless their parents decide to do their jobs and teach them the difference between right, wrong and what's likely to land them in prison, where a guy named Big Al uses you as his personal 'toy' (I've heard the stories!). In Gaynor's case, maybe she should have a chat with her son about slitting people's throats, and why it's just a little illegal. Failing that, she should take away his video games. God knows what the kid will do after one game of Grand Theft Auto.

For the curious among you, here's a video of the new haka (you can see the conventional haka here):



By the way, Gaynor - you know it's legal to change your name, right? I'm just saying...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Too damn rite mate...Bloody tree-huggers...

Gurpreet

*Nami* said...

LOL I actually know someone named Gaynor!!! Mocked her all through French last semester (not to her face of course :P)